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Heart LampWinner of the 2025 International Booker Prize Finalist for the National Book Critics Circle Gregg Barios Book in Translation Prize A monumental first collection in English from Banu Mushtaq: lawyer, activist, champion of Muslim women, and winner of India's highest literary honors. In the twelve stories of Heart Lamp, Banu Mushtaq exquisitely captures the everyday lives of women and girls in Muslim communities in southern India. Published originally in
Winner of the 2025 International Booker Prize
Finalist for the National Book Critics Circle Gregg Barios Book in Translation Prize
A monumental first collection in English from Banu Mushtaq: lawyer, activist, champion of Muslim women, and winner of India's highest literary honors.
In the twelve stories of Heart Lamp, Banu Mushtaq exquisitely captures the everyday lives of women and girls in Muslim communities in southern India. Published originally in the Kannada language between 1990 and 2023, praised for their dry and gentle humor, these portraits of family and community tensions testify to Mushtaq's years as a journalist and lawyer, in which she tirelessly championed women's rights and protested all forms of caste and religious oppression.
Written in a style at once witty, vivid, colloquial, moving and excoriating, it's in her characters--the sparky children, the audacious grandmothers, the buffoonish maulvis and thug brothers, the oft-hapless husbands, and the mothers above all, surviving their feelings at great cost--that Mushtaq emerges as an astonishing writer and observer of human nature, building disconcerting emotional heights out of a rich spoken style. Her opus has garnered both censure from conservative quarters as well India's most prestigious literary awards; this is a collection sure to be read for years to come.
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4.9 ★★★★★
Based on 951 reviews
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★★★★★ 4
One Over Explained Good Idea, Several, (Thankfully) Brief Bad Ideas
Format: Kindle
When I was about 75% of the way through this book, I had intended on giving it 5 stars. It's lost a star and I'll explain why. First I'll start with the meat on this bone. Dr. Gary Chapman makes a brilliant observation: There are multiple and specific ways to express love, Words of Admiration, Acts of Service, Quality time, Physical Touch, and Gift Giving. Followed by the following brilliant observations: How we are raised influences our beliefs about how to express love to others. That we can naturally have an inborn way that we feel expresses our love (regardless of how we were raised). We have an inborn way of how we *want* to be loved. We can fail to recognize that others love us when they don't express it in the way we need, and others can fail to realize we love them if we are expressing love in a way that isn't meaningful to them. Those are the best parts of the books in a nutshell. I have several disagreements with other observations Dr. Chapman makes. One is he tends to harp repeatedly on there being one almost magical form of love expression that will make a person feel loved. I disagree with this, as I think most people will have a spectrum across the five traits, finding perhaps one most meaningful, but they will have feelings on all five categories. I also think he seemed to present the Five Categories as a Holy Grail, instead of guidelines. These were minor grievances however. Then came some problematic language. During most of the first part of the book, Dr. Chapman makes religious references to church, and although it aroused my suspicions (I hate when a book devolves into religious mumbo jumbo) the references seemed to just regulate the topic to another activity couples could share, like both enjoying going to see concerts. However, the end of the book did end in scripture quotes, and extremely questionable advice to a woman who apparently seemed to be in an abusive relationship. Dr. Chapman's view of divorce as immoral then came to the forefront. And I believe his faith came before a woman in need of help. The woman was being emotionally and verbally abused, and very possibly a victim of marital rape. Her own faith was tearing her apart, since her friends, and indeed her emotions were telling her to get out of the relationship. She came to Dr. Chapman to enable her to find a way *not to leave*. When she told Dr. Chapman that all her husband seemed to want her for was sex, Dr. Chapman *going against* references he's made earlier in the book (stating that if love isn't expressed freely, it is not a true expression of love, but rather fear), then he made the suggestion that her husbands language of love was "physical touch" and that she should sleep with him more. The women reacted negatively to the suggestion, saying how emotionally damaged she would feel after a sex act with a man who ignores her and treats her coldly and critically. Dr. Chapman's response was downright cruel and I believe sexist, urging her to ignore her feelings and aim to sleep with her husband twice a week. We live in a culture where sex is seen an act, something a woman gives a man, but is separate from her being. We don't see sex as just two people interacting sexually. And I felt his language attested to having this opinion. That women were sort of sexless, desireless creatures, and should sacrifice being comfortable or feeling safe to satisfy their husbands need for sex. He also expressed in the book his belief that polyamory is unnatural and immoral, and equated it with cheating, and inevitably resulting in abandonment of a spouse. Polyamory obviously happens, so it's absurd to call it unnatural. And while yes, many folks do cheat under the guise of polyamory, polyamory can work when communication, trust, honesty and willpower are combined. The book is still well worth the read. However I found it to be one good idea over-explained, and a few bad ideas, thankfully, mostly just touched on.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 22, 2016
★★★★★ 5
Nothing matters unless you let it
Format: Paperback, Format: Paperback
I was once asked to read this book by the only person in the world I love.....I refused. At the time I figured it to be some shrinks opinion on how we should all be in our relationships....what the hell does he know I thought.....what if he is wrong and my future wife bases our whole future on just what he says.....I imagined this book to be some guy with opinions on how to fix problems that he knows nothing about because he doesn't know "us". It's not a good feeling as a man to agree to read a book on relationships because you feel like you're putting everything into the authors hands.....and what if he "doesn't understand" or what if the advice doesn't apply to us.....what if it makes things worse between us because he advises things we don't believe in.....no....I'm not reading that I told her.
I thought no matter what we would always figure each other out and we would be ok......I didn't see being asked to read this book , was a cry out from the woman I love hitting a boiling point and her attempt to communicate to me in a different way......the same things she's been trying to for a long time.....
Being close minded that day costed me so much regret and misery....I used to wake up to the most beautiful smile in the world and now I don't....I recently ended up reading this book and I couldn't put it down....sounds crazy but it's true. Instead of being some guys opinions or......typical shrink talk that in no way could apply to each specific relationship.......I found it to be a book that opens up the mind to the understanding of love.....and how it is not this one universal "language" we all feel we should be the same with.....I once told her...."nobody taught me how to love, I'm growing....learning".....I pleased with her to understand I love her.......we simply didn't have an understanding of how and why we didnt approach love the exact same way as each other.....only makes sense that it should be the same right? You bicker and argue and it drives you crazy......why doesn't she understand you think.......the book is not an excuse to use or justify a true bad relationship let me add.....but it truly answers so many questions.....it is really a language of love. Once understood, this book leaves you feeling like a fool and only wanting to apply so much of what you've now learned to your future together. It takes away the work of trying to understand the things that at the time make no sense.....and allows you to focus on what's important....loving instead of wasting precious time. Read it carefully and I recommend reading it together.....I didn't get that chance but I can guarantee reading this book with who you love will allow you both to stop frequently throughout the pages and talk,learn,smile, probably cry.....but then go on to a much happier fulfilling life together once the book is closed. It can save so much if you only let it.
*Update 12-1-17
I drive a bus so I have nothing but time to think as I look out the window and look up at the sky looking around me. You would probably think of screaming kids and noise but for me it is driving in my own little world and using time to think about life
I am a trainer so I spend my time trying to help people learn how to maintain their body and prevent problems. And the funny thing is that it is are very choices of what we do to our own bodies that I am teaching to have to change. All of our problems nutritionally and physically and even mentally come down too poor choice and repetitive habits that we know we need to change but never do until it's too late. Every single person reading this can relate to that
My point about what I do is that I spend a lot of time trying to fix my body because professionals out there either won't take the time to do it or I don't have the money to spend on who is needed. I have spent countless months doing stretches and exercises and what I have found is a lot of times I'm doing the exact same stretches and exercises that don't seem to be working. Soooo......why not do different ones then right...... what a lot of reasons it may feel good, you may not know any other stretches or exercises, you may simply believe that if I just do it one more time again tomorrow....THAT it will finally help..... you just believe in that stretch so much that in your mind you just say I'll keep trying. You are maybe even making things worse by this but you're honest to God intentions are to completely cure one of the biggest problems in your life, pain...... I think you see where I'm getting at.
Getting a little long for whoever is reading but there is a lot of meaning here that can help who knows thousands of people as long as this review remains online......
I will just end it like this..... last night I took a stretch that I have been doing for over 2 years and I changed it in a slightly different way....... a lot of the pain I normally get daily is gone.......
just to put a spotlight on that sentence .....I'm saying that what I had been doing for so long..... trying to cure one of the biggest problems in my life that hadnt been working............that I continued doing........ believing in and depending on.... to be my much needed answer.......It wasn't until I allowed the idea of the same stretch applied in a different way, that I ALLOWED life to be better for me.
I did not say this stretch doesn't matter anymore and say forget it to never exist again.....no, I used it to COMMUNICATE with my body in the same exact physical form....just different language from mind to body....because I always believed in it.
Belief can be amazing and help you....it also can be your own worst enemy when refuse to change your ways.....lots of time I lost believing my way instead of another.....all while would have given anything to accomplish my goal......once again I stood in my own way......but I didn't give up.....otherwise pain would still be here and I wouldn't have came on here to add all these thoughts.
You have to go into the book with an open mind because if you do it with the mindset of wanting it to say what it is that you want to hear.....then you can never let the life-changing words happen.......you're learning a language as you read...not what's right and wrong but what was being lost in life.
Keep in mind this is a book about the language of love so if you think about when you go to school to learn a different language...you are taking the difficult step of taking time there in order to understand.....be able to take what you understand and apply it.....and be able to communicate in a NEEDED way once you learn....AND THEN USE......communicate and UNDERSTAND eachother.
Just think how you feel when you meet somebody and you want to communicate but you can't and you get frustrated. you are trying to figure out what you want the other person to know and they're trying to tell or show you..... it becomes stressful and sometimes you end up walking away from each other never knowing the real meaning that was right there between the two of you. When you are able to speak the same language this simply does not happen.....
The same two people if we're able to learn the same language, could come back in front of one another again and.....just imagine......imagine the possibilities with that communication.......so much never lost again.
The exact same message and the exact same feelings that were always there, except now instead of the stress of not understanding, there is the excitement for anything to be possible just by coming together and understanding.....
The power of language is amazing........think of when you meet somebody and they're able to speak five or six different languages, you are in awe and wish you could do it.
well imagine being able to speak the one language in life that is the most unexplainable, powerful language and meaning of life, love....
I would also like to mention the fact that if these two people sat down and learn each other's languages together how helpful that is.....and how much easier it is to be able to learn how to communicate with the exact person that you're trying to ........spending time helping each other learn different languages.......TOGETHER.
Bus is parked.
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Reviewed in the United States on August 4, 2017
★★★★★ 5
Very Insightful Read for Anyone in a Relationship!
Format: Paperback, Format: Paperback
I first heard of this book a number of years ago and it had been on my wish list of books to read for awhile, not necessarily because my husband and I have trouble in our marriage; it's more that there is always room for improvement in many areas of life, especially a relationship as important as a marriage. Finally, I decided to just buy it because I heard several of my friends talking about it.
Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, has determined that everyone speaks a different love language, meaning the way they show someone they love them. The five languages he has identified are: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Speaking a love language is similar to speaking a foreign language. For instance, if I speak French and I meet someone who speaks German, we are going to have a difficult time communicating if we don't at least know how to speak the other person's primary language. The same goes for the love languages. Some people may have more than one but there is usually one love language that speaks loudest to that person. The author says most individuals speak a different love language than their spouse and it's important to know how to speak the other person's language so you can communicate effectively and have a more loving and successful marriage.
This book is divided into several chapters that average about ten pages long so they aren't incredibly long and drawn-out. There are five chapters discussing each of the love languages as well as talking about love and how to apply these love languages in the relationship with your spouse. There are several Frequently Asked Questions and profiles (quizzes) for both individuals to determine their primary and secondary love languages. Chapman states that you can select the chapters you'd like to read based on what you believe your love language is but I found reading the entire book to be extremely helpful since I thought about myself and my husband and how these love languages apply to our marriage. It's not a particularly long book (just over 200 pages) so it won't take a long time to read and I like how the book is organized in easy-to-read sections with anecdotes about couples the author has spoken with (names have been changed) and main points located in "bubbles" in the margins.
I really enjoyed reading this book and found it to be very helpful. My husband and I even had a conversation about the topics in this book and we've talked about how we can use our newly-discovered love languages and apply them to our marriage to make it even more loving, happy and successful. Regardless of if you've been married for 40 years or are engaged to be married, I'd highly recommend reading this book. I regret not reading it sooner because so many actions between my husband and I now make more sense. I've already got two friends queued up to read this book so I'm glad I purchased the paperback version which makes it easy to lend out. I haven't read many books on relationships and marriage but I really liked how easy and interesting it was to read this and I'm now looking into purchasing The 5 Love Languages of Children since I want my kids to know they are loved more than anything. I highly recommend this book!
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Reviewed in the United States on October 23, 2016
★★★★★ 5
Definitely worth reading to improve your relationship with your spouse.
Format: Paperback
It is definitely a good book for couples and it has improved my relationship with my wife. If nothing else it shows you what things your partner is really looking for out of their spouse. I quickly found that my love language was "Acts of Service". Though it might not be sexy or macho to say that, it means more to me to have the dishes and laundry done when I come home after work or have minor home improvements taken care of before I get home. My wife and I have 2 small children and our house is hard to stay clean because every room feels like a mess. We do clean it all the time but it feels like a losing battle. My wife's love language is "Words of Affirmation". As you can tell from all these Amazon reviews I am much more of a writer than I am a talker. My wife is always looking for me to say how much I love and appreciate her because I don't say it often enough.
A big part of improving your relationship with your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend is to sticking with a date night to make sure you have quality time together. Especially if you have children or a high stress occupation. My wife and I have been together for 10 years and got stuck in the rut of an endless routine of doing everything we could for our kids, followed by daily chores and left little time for ourselves. Committing to 1 date night a week has really helped our relationship and improved our communication.
I recommend the book for sure and found it inspiring and worth reading. All couples can benefit from reading this book. The only downside is I wish it could have been a little longer. The stories from the author are interesting and I would have liked to have heard a bunch of his other examples of couples that he has dealt with. It was a short book and my wife and I finished it in 4 or 5 days and that was reading it slowly. The price is easily affordable. I found it best to photo copy the test quiz at the end instead of writing in the book so we can give the book to any family or friends who are struggling with their relationship.
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Reviewed in the United States on January 19, 2017
★★★★★ 5
Easy read and full of good information. The first book I would recommend to any parent.
This book is great for those of you that already put effort into your relationship with your children. The main bit of knowledge I took away from reading this book is how to make that same amount of effort count for more. If you have already read the original 5 Love Languages book you will know what I mean. Even for those of you who have read it there are some great examples that will help you transfer those ideas from the first book into your relationship with your kids.
If you haven't ready the first book that was intended for married couples (or non married couples in a serious relationship) you can still read this book no problem. This was written as a standalone book that does not require the reading of the authors first book.
Kids are easy to love, and of course sometimes not so easy but we care for them just the same. It is easy for us to see when they care about us because they are so basic in the way they show affection. As they get older into adolescence this changes a bit as they get more complicated. My children are 4 months, 2 years, and 3.5 years old. Even though this book will be more helpful with children ages 8-18, I am already using the concepts of this book with my 2 and 3.5 year old and seeing results. This book will show you how to let your children know you care about them. My 3.5 year old just needs hugs but my 2 year old needs time spent with him. When I started doing this his typical 2 year old "touch everything I shouldn't" actions went away. It was a moment to cherish when we could leave the remote controls for the TV out on the end table again. When my 2 year old started getting the love he wanted he stopped acting out and this book showed me in an easy to understand way how to see what my child wanted and give it to him. Now did I ignore my child before? No Way. When I get home all the kids go crazy and jump on me and we wrestle and tickle. My 3.5 year old tells me about preschool and my boy shows me his toys (the same ones as the day before). We all eat dinner together followed shortly after by taking baths or showers. Then we have nights with no TV where my wife and I will read them books or they will play and sometimes we let them watch a show or two. Its not like we are bad parents at all and this book isn't aimed at making bad parents better. This book will show you, whatever type of parent you are, how to show your children you care for them so they see it. When your children feel more loved by you they will be more confident, act out less, and be able to show you better how they care for you. Its a win win with no real extra effort needed other than what you are currently putting out. You just might need to redirect some of your effort. This book is a short easy read and I recommend it to any parent.
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Reviewed in the United States on December 5, 2014